My Army component was combat engineers. I was a demolition specialist. That meant that I got to disarm unfriendly ordnance as well as blow stuff up. I liked the latter and hated the former. Some memories of that duty were published in Soldier of Fortune back around 1990.
What brought this period to mind is an e-mail I received recently. A friend and another veteran sent me a notice that someone had defaced the Vietnam Wall. I do not understand. While America was in Vietnam, people transferred their anger at the administration to the soldiers who served there. Most of them had been drafted and no more wanted to fight in a foreign country than they wanted to eat dirt.
Angry peace protesters threw rocks at soldiers. They screamed epithets at them and treated them like criminals. The pain of that has lasted all these intervening years. Many of us still greet each other with the words we didn't hear then, "Welcome home."
Why were we there? As I said most were drafted. Some were professional soldiers who went where they were ordered and did what they had to in order to stay alive. I was a volunteer. The theory then was that Communism (you may have to Google that) would spread if not opposed. Twenty years had shown us that this economic/political philosophy did not move where it was actively, militarily opposed. So I guess I wanted to save the world.
While I was in Vietnam, I helped build bridges and schools, clear roads, install drainage systems and shot at people who shot at me. There were some beautiful parts and there were some scary, ugly parts. I may post some memories later. This post is to continue my introduction about me.
When I returned, I was a quieter person. My father guessed that it was because I was listening for someone who might try to kill me. Maybe that was part of it. But the major reason was that I had less to say. I didn't think that my every thought was worth telling. I still don't.
I have a world view that has been annealed by seeing people die, losing friends, being frightened for a solid year. Those events were hard to recover from. I had nightmares and flashbacks for several years after. Marrying the love of my life definitely improved the way I dealt with the memories, so did taking a degree in psychology. The latter was more self-help than learning a new profession.
The fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan is viewed by people who are just as dedicated to peace. But this time, they have separated the folks who take orders from those making policy.
If you're an old person, like me, who went to Vietnam, I conclude this with only one thing.
Welcome home, and thank you.
1 comment:
Steve, excellent start to your blog. I especially liked the honesty of "As I get older, I find that I have fewer thoughts, shallower too--" RE. Vietnam, I was one of those on the other side of this country's divide, and it's true that some of us blamed individuals for the administration's sins. Young people are so much more judgmental than older ones, don't you think? I remember feeling at the time that there was enough information out about Vietnam that people could make informed decisions, and that anyone who chose to go was complicit. I thought, and still think, that protesting unjust wars is a patriotic act, and I wish we saw more of that sort of patriotism today. But I do regret the blame heaped on individual soldiers who were also following what they saw as their patriotic duty.
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